Have you ever said that in your church? Have you heard someone else say that, like in a vestry meeting? I often hear faithful older churchgoers say, “We just need to get more young families to come.” It is the most common “solution” I hear offered when people start talking about revitalizing their church. It is true that, for some churches, it would be great to have more young families and that could be exactly what God wants for them. However, it could also be true that young families are not what some churches needed.
For example, before a church chases after young families, it might be good to first find out if there are even young families within driving distance to the church! There are some areas in Florida, where I live, that just don’t have that many young families. Churches in those areas are better off focusing on reaching older people! There are non-believing, mature adults in just as much need of not going to Hell as young families are! And frankly, they might be more open to the Gospel since they are more aware of the certainty of their death!
Rather than starting with knee-jerk solution to the church not growing, which is, “We just need more young families,” the better option is to ask, “Who is God specifically calling our church to reach with the Good News in our community?” There many kinds of non-believers around you. God is probably not calling you to reach them all. He will reach them through the different local churches and believers in your community each doing their specific part. So, if God’s plan is not for your church to be the only church he uses to advance his Kingdom in your part of the world, who is God specifically calling your church to reach?
God’s answer to you might very well be “young families.” Great, but then you’ll want to ask, “what are the young families in our community like?” Not all young families are the same. What are their physical and spiritual needs? How can you serve and relationally connect with the specific unchurched young families around your church? Just hoping that the already-Christian young families in your area choose your church over another is not a strategy that will work anymore. If that’s the plan, you will probably be disappointed.
God’s answer to you might be, as I said, reach the older generation. Or maybe, empty nesters, or people addicted to opioids, or other addicts, or veterans, or single moms, or whoever else is near your church that doesn’t know Jesus. Whoever God calls you to reach out to, you’ll want to understand them and how to serve and relationally connect with them in order that Christ might save some.
Basically, practice being on mission in your community as Paul described how he did mission in 1 Corinthians 9:20-22:
When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ. When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some.
Who is your “everyone” that as a church, you can “try to find common ground with” and then do “everything” you can to “save some.”
Another way to think about this is using Jesus’ image of us being “Fishers of Men.” (Matt. 4:19) Think of the community around your church as your “fishing pond.” Who are the “fish” in your pond? Once you identify which fish are in your pond that you are going to focus on “catching” you can plan and act accordingly. If you want to catch bass (i.e. young families) and there are no bass in your pond, you’ll fish all day long without success. If you’re throwing out bass bait, the fish that are in the pond won’t be interested. But, if you identify the fish that are there, find out what bait they like and use that, there’s a higher chance some will be interested. I think you get the idea. My concern is that many churches’ idea of fishing for men is to just float out a boat (church building) into the pond and hope that fish will magically jump in. That’s not how fishing works. That won’t work for your church.
So again, who is God specifically calling your church to reach out to with the Gospel in your community?
The Rev. Canon Mark Eldredge is Director of Church Revitalization & Coaching for the American Anglican Council.
